Archive | October, 2011

Fantasy sports are evil

28 Oct

So I have played fantasy Premier League for the past four years because as you well know, I’m obsessed with soccer. I’ve also dabbled in fantasy football, basketball and hockey. And you know what? They all suck.  No matter who I pick, my team is always terrible.

I just can’t win*.  I think out of all the fantasy sports I’ve played, I’ve finished dead last all but once (maybe twice).  I go out and pick up the season’s leading goal scorer? Oh, he’s on the bench because his head’s “not right”. (Damn you, Wayne Rooney.)  My stud midfielder? Not playing because of an upcoming Champions League clash.  My defense? Well, they just have no idea how to stop the opposition from scoring.  Close game?  No worries, my opponent had a player get bonus points and he’s the captain too!

For the love of all that is holy, why can’t I catch a break?  I try to put together a decently strong team, but the cards never fall my way.  Meanwhile, the guy leading the one league I’m in has Joe Cole on his team. Joe Cole!! Are you joking me?  The guy was loaned out before the season even started! What the hell?  How is this guy winning the league since he obviously hasn’t put in one iota of effort since the season started?  Meanwhile, I’m keeping an eye on things throughout the season, trying to make my team better and I’m wallowing in last place.  Go me.

The whole fantasy sports machine is just ridiculously absurd.  You can put in all the time, effort and analyze all 343** players in the league, but that doesn’t mean you are going to win.  It’s not like you have any influence over how a player does on the field.  Fantasy sports are all about luck and some people just hog it all.  And honestly, should it really matter how your completely made-up team does in some internet-based fake sports league?  No, it really shouldn’t, but for some reason, it does.  For me, I simply hate losing, regardless of the forum.  (Don’t even get me started on FIFA.)  Should I waste my time getting irritated when my team sucks? Probably not, just as it’s not really worth gloating if my team wins.  It’s all about luck.

Even though I am endlessly frustrated with my teams and my perceived lack of luck and I threaten to quit constantly, I just can’t.  Some unknown factor always sucks me back into the vortex of made-up frustration and glory.  And to that I say, damn it, who’s going to be my captain this week?

*In case you are wondering, my lineup is currently:
GK: Michel Vorm (Swansea)
D: Jose Enrique (Liverpool), Gary Cahill (Bolton), Ryan Taylor (Newcastle)
M: Martin Petrov (Bolton), Ahmed Elmohamady (Sunderland), Clint Dempsey (Fulham), David Silva (Manchester City)
F: Wayne Rooney (Manchester United), Gabriel Agbonlahor (Aston Villa), Leon Best (Newcastle)
Bench: Carlo Cudicini, GK (Tottenham); Charles N’Zogbia, M (Aston Villa); Phil Jagielka, D (Everton); Phillip Bardsley, D (Sunderland)

**this number is totally made-up


Liverpool takes out Stoke in Carling Cup

26 Oct

Luis Suarez was en fuego for Liverpool today, netting two second half goals in a 2-1 win over Stoke in the Carling Cup to send LFC to the quarterfinals. The Reds were clearly the more threatening team in the first half, but could not hit the broad side of a barn, much like Saturday’s contest against Norwich. Of course, Stoke took the lead just before half on an Kenwyne Jones header on pretty much their only chance of the half. The Stoke goal was largely set up by Sebastian Coates’ failure to clear the ball out of a dangerous area, so yeah, might want to work on that.

Suarez finally got tired of seeing his shots get saved/go wide in the second half, scoring his first after juking a defender at the edge of the box and unleashing a gorgeous shot into the far side. He scored the game winner on a header (take notes, Andy Carroll) off a pinpoint cross from Jordan Henderson in the 84th minute.  Well done by all parties on that one.

The Reds have been playing decent football in their last few games, but have been struggling to put the ball in the back of the net. Today’s match was the first time since the derby win on Oct. 1 the team has netted twice. Hope this means the floodgates have opened for Suarez, who has been playing well but struggling recently to hit the net.

LFC has a good chance to go into the international break with a couple Ws, taking on West Brom this weekend and Swansea next week, however, they have got to learn to put teams away. LFC has struggled against teams lower in the table and stepped up against the big guys and that has to change, they need to play with the same kind of intensity and desire in every game. Dropping points against a team like Norwich or in upcoming games against West Brom and Swansea could really come back to bite them in the ass.